What’s the hardest part of being a woman in a leadership position: EMOTIONS
A different way of looking at emotional women leaders
❓What if that whole idea that you can’t be emotional was wrong?
❓What if for years you’ve been trying to do it the wrong way?
❓What if new research said the most effective leaders have strong feminine traits like empathy, the ability to build strong, caring relationships, have a strong passion and enthusiasm for meaningful work and high emotional intelligence?
🌟What if your emotions were a gift, a blessing or even an edge in leadership?🌟
Instead of trying to stuff them down like underwear peeking out of your pants, a tampon sneaking out of your purse or the muffin top creeping over your waistband, you would welcome your emotions. You might even embrace them and let them shine a bit more.
OMG - I’m a cryer❗
I’ve known for years that I am sensitive, emotional and a crier.
When I was a little girl, my mom mocked me for being unable to hold back the tears😥
I felt my uncontrollable emotions were a problem that became a BIG problem when I moved into a leadership position.
Believing my emotional tendency was a bad thing, I worked hard at hiding my emotions.
- I put walls up and protected myself the best way I could (Think: abrasive, rigid and cold)
- I tried to banish my emotions from meetings. (Read: Task-focused)
- I worked hard to numb or ignore what was going on inside of me (See: Emotional eating and workaholic)
I thought I had it all under control...but....
As much as I try to control my emotions they were in control of me.
Just like a kettle that eventually has to release steam, I’d hit a tipping point. Something would push me to the edge, push my buttons or merely be the straw that was too much to bare.
--> I would snap, with a sarcastic comment and angry jab or worse tears that welled up in my eyes and threatened to spill over.
I learned to be emotionally intelligent by increasing my emotional vocabulary!
I learned to manage my emotions when I learned what emotional intelligence is and why it is so important in leadership.
👉🏻When I began the journey of understanding my emotions and choosing them, I learned to manage my emotions.
I learned to explore my emotions, what triggered them and what they meant for me.
- An angry jab at someone may have been a sign I needed to do a bit more self-care as I was working too hard and not honouring my value of spending quality time with my kids.
- Tears may be more about disappointment about losing a contract I was passionate about, not the mistake my administrative support just made.
- A biting, sarcastic comment to a staff member might indicate I was embarrassed by their poor quality work when it was pointed out to me at a contract meeting.
I had to do the Inner Work
The inner work of identifying specific emotions and what they mean to me has given me the ability to manage my emotional responses.
Now, for the most part, I am in control of my emotions rather than being in control of me 🤗
It’s your turn to learn to be in control of your emotions!
You’ve probably already heard that strong, effective leaders are emotionally intelligent leaders.
Where you may be struggling is not knowing how to build your emotional intelligence.
The mistake we often make is thinking we can’t just snap our fingers and be in control of our emotions. It doesn't work that way.
Here is how you increase your emotional control:
- Emotion control starts with exploring your emotions and becoming aware of them.
- It means leaning in instead of numbing out!
- Emotional Control takes work ---> Reflective work! Inner work!
Do you want to become composed and in control of your emotions at work?
You need to name your emotions.
👉🏻If you don’t know what it is, you can’t deal with it❗
Increase your emotional vocabulary so that you can name your emotions to tame your emotions!
My Promise To You!
I promise, if you expand your vocabulary, you’ll be better able to manage what’s going on inside of you, rather than being surprised when emotions jump out.
Here’s the plan for you to be more in control of your emotions:
- Sign up for Emotional Control by expanding your emotional vocabulary
- Work through the lessons: Be open to exploring and understanding your emotions
- Name your emotions and tame your emotions. Become calm, cool and collected and still emotional!
Learn how to name and tame your emotions giving you the emotional control you desire, when you need it most!
STOP trying to shut your emotions off, push them down or numb them out, only to find they rear their ugly head, at the worst possible time!
STOP avoiding dealing with things because you are afraid you’ll lose emotional control.
DO discover the confidence to take on difficult conversations have the courage to make decisions and continue to be sensitive, compassionate and connected.
Increase your emotional vocabulary allowing you to become an emotionally intelligent and in control of her emotions kind of a woman leader.
🌟Become a capable, confident woman leader who is in control of her emotions!🌟
I know that most of us feel like we spend our days chasing fires and solving everyone else’s problems. However, at the end of our days, we feel as though we didn’t get anywhere. As an internationally certified leadership development coach, I give you the inner and outer tools to turn that around, so you can move from surviving — to thriving.
In my work, I coach individuals who want to strengthen their leadership and find balance in life. I love to mentor people as they rediscover their purpose, passion, and persistence for life while dealing with office politics, jerk bosses, and the challenges of family life. In my best-selling book Mastering Confidence: Discover Your Leadership Potential by Awakening Your Inner Guidance System, I show you how to develop your inner confidence so you can have the impact you desire in work and in life.